really, this job of motherhood is the most important task i have to excel at.

i don't want my son's childhood to be incidental to the agenda i have as an adult. i want him to be my agenda. i want him to be able to spend all morning making a fort out of my bed if he wants to, with no schedule to bind him to a particular set of bookends.

a schedule is good, somedays. rushing isn't so good, and in rushing around trying to get my errands done, with ds in tow, leaves little time for him to experience the slowness and zen that i idealize for myself, and yes, for him too.