i am new to this neighborhood dynamic. we have 2 neighbors who are both 5 (ds is 6). they play well together most of the time, but certain dynamics keep surfacing which make me uncomfortable. i have been steering their wonderful, creative sword play towards 'how about you can all be on the same team- and go find a dragon to conquer- in fact, i heard there's a dragon hiding in the bushes around the corner...' and they are off, yelling about cyborg dragons, and doing cool ninja movements.

but often, what they are doing when i feel the need to steer, is this 2 on 1 thing that drives me batty. ds is doing his best to be the diplomat, but he often gets caught up in it. and suddenly, someone is outnumbered & outarmed & feeling badly.

i am feeling torn between the need to teach good interpersonal skills & the need to let things get worked out between them in their own way. it is hard, because there is this prevalent attitude that it is perfectly normal for boys to spend all day running around whacking at each other. whereas, i am of the school of thought that some whacking is good, but that there are also plenty of other ways to spend your energy. so the other parents just expect them to work it out on their own- and i feel the need to guide.

one of the neighbors kids is somewhat of an instigator- he is here part of the time with his dad, and it is really the only play he knows. the other boy is from india, and indigo & he play in many different ways when T isn't around. but somehow, when T shows up, he wants to exclude M, and ds follows along more often than i would like. of course, sometimes the tables are turned, but not too often.

and dh tells me i worry too much. M's mom is pretty laid back, and says 'they will work it out' and i expect they will. but i still have the urge to meddle. i am not used to living in a neighborhood...